I MIGHT BE LOSING MY MIND. I KNOW. DON'T PANIC YET.

So, I think I might have slightly, lost control of my life.

Woah. What.

Hahaha. Yeah.

Now, what do you mean? You’re what? Barely 16. What horrible problems could you ever have?

WELL, I’M GONNA TELL YA RIGHT NOW.

Disclaimer: My life isn’t that bad. Others definitely have it worse, etc. But I don’t care about the others. It’s me I’m worried about. If I wasn’t, this wouldn’t exist. So deal with it.

Let’s flash back to last year. I was hysterical half the time and depressed full time, all the time. Everyone has different ways to deal with the sadness they feel. I do it by distracting myself. It works. I let myself be distracted. It’s horrible. I was honestly panicking all the time when I wasn’t distracted. I couldn’t study, concentrate and could barely hold up relationships with friends and family. I found it difficult to leave the bed, let alone text my friends back, or whatever friends do together. I became more irritable with my parents and sibling. It was all goin’ down hill. But I scraped through eventually.

But there’s more. I resolved to pulling my shitz together this year. The exams that’ll determine the rest of my life are coming. Either I pull my socks up or cut off my feet. But the distraction thing. I’ve gotten so good at it, I can’t concentrate anymore. And I’m only border-liningly exaggerating. I can’t even bring myself to finish my homework. I can only bring myself to complete it when it’s the hour before the dead line. And you know what, homework you’re suppose to complete over the weekend can’t be done in 30 minutes. So, I don’t even hand it up sometimes. I’m insane. I understand all the consequences, in fact, I’m sure I’m exaggerating some in my mind. But I can’t bring myself to do them. I can’t do anything. I can’t finish anything. I’m losing it.

I can’t even bring myself to do the things I like anymore. I can’t read. I can’t watch 5 minutes of a youtube video. All I do is mope and daydream. I’m wasting my life while ruining it at the same time.

I’m scared.

But I can’t do anything about it. I’m wandering. And I’m really worried.

In fact, I fell sick recently. And I’m suspecting it’s because I worried myself to sleep to the point I couldn’t sleep for a couple hours and then wake up to a stomach ache that led to a fever. How am I so effectively ruining myself? I missed so many lessons because of my trip to Malaysia for Chinese New Year and now this. I can’t. I feel so goddamn pathetic and useless.

I’m going to try and set things straight.

So here’s a promise:

ALL HOMEWoRk MUST BE DONE THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DEADLINE.

Also, did I mention my Common Test are next week? God, help me.

SO yeah, now panic. 

Mandatory Post-Christmas Gif

*jingle bells echo in the background*

DO YOU SMELL THAAAAT?

CHRISTMAS IS COMING. WOOOOOOOO

FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN

FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN

FUN FUN FUN FUN

FUN FUN FUN 

FUN FUN

FUN

HOLIDAYS UPDATEZ

PHOOF.

Editing was fun. Nice eh? All orangey, lighthouses and some good ol' PewDieCry. Love 'em. I never edit my blog further than the basic templates option. It was all new and great. I'm happy with it. The obvious tiling in the background bugs me, but hey. 'T was fun.

I feel like actually writing now that the blog is less hideous. Also, new things! Got myself a new addiction (Bioshock Infinite), a new book (Let It Snow -John Green, Maureen Johnson, Lauren Myacle) (lovely) and new (not so new) favourite Youtube people! (Cryaotic and PewDiePie... LP people)

Man. Fun stuff.

Had a chalet with my (half, 1/4, nvm) drama people. Good times. and bad, but we don't talk about that. Spent some time with the old people from drama before they kick the bucket, I mean, graduate. Some even older people came to visit. Cooked some food. Played some cards. Told some truths. Stayed up late to talk about things we hated and etc. We even went to see the sun rise, but of course, we were facing the wrong side and missed it.

Went out with the best bud, to kite fly. Didn't work out. forgot about the kite Still great tho. We just romped around the windy area, scaring kite goers. Flyers. Whatever. Nearly died, because we thought we lost the bus stop. (Right where we left it.)

Went out with Sharlz. (She has nice hair) We ate and bought stuff. COMPLAINED ABOUT LIFE. Got yelled by some lady. We wanted to stab her, but she had a kid, so next time. Did some good ol' reminiscing, told the possible future and cured cancer. It was great fun. Love Sharly.

Doing assessment papers everyday for 3 hours (this is the holidays btw, the HOLIDAYS) because my dad is Hitler worried about my atrocious grades. Good fun.

INTERNET THE REST OF THE TIMEZ.

Also, went to Anime Fest ages ago. IT WAS SO KEWL. MY BRAIN WAS ALL, "OOOHH AAAHHH. WOAH WOW. waitwhatisthat. SHINY. NEED MORE MONEYYYY." Went with the sister. Good sibling time. Spentsomuchmoneyanditsalljustprintsicant Bought some stuff for the butt and Brendapanda too because they couldn't come.

INTERNETINTERNETINTERNET

DOCTOR WHO 50TH ANNIVERSARY. THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL FOR ME. DAD GOT ME BBCENTERTAINMENT SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF WATCHING IT'S LIVE BROADCAST. GOODNESS, IT WAS AT 3.20AM. I WAS SO PSYCHED FOR IT DVSAIULHNERNHIQ. IT WAS AMAZING. LIKE AMAZED-KIND OF AMAZING. IT WAS A LOVE LETTER FOR THE FANS. IT TRULY IS. I'M SO HAPPY WITH THAT EPISODE, I JUST. GOODNESS.

Tumbled and youtubed and... That's about it.

I don't remember doing anything else.

Holidays so far - 6/10 flabberjacks. (iftherewasnttestpapers,honestly,10/10) #hitlerdad #jkiloveyoudad











THIS POST IS SO LONG, I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF. ASDFGHJKL


(Spotted grammar mistake: fixed)
I'm gonna go watch The Walking Dead Playthrough by Cry now.
ITSSOEXCITINGJESUSCHRIST

Why I Can Never Maintain Blogs and Random Pictures.

Honestly, how do people work blogs? Or at the very least continue them. I opened countless blogs to post 3 posts, go on a hiatus, come back filled with the conviction to continue blogging, but facing the obstacle of having forgotten the password.

This happens for my journals too. I have plenty of notebooks that only has 3 pages worth of handwriting.

I'm saying this just to make a point. This blog probably won't last. But I'll make the most of it while I still remember the password.

Here's some pictures to you know, take up space and compensate my blogger's block.

I have not heard of omfgitsjackanddean when I came across this GIF. But I found it too funny to not save it. I have watching-people-get-hit-by-shoe fetishes I guess.

Here is my favourite actor.

He also happens to be my celebrity crush.

And also the other half of one of my OTPs. 

Here's a cat. 

Because this is the internet.

Yes, these are just random gifs and photos I saved on my laptop.

I did not directly address my inability to maintain blogs. (Well, technically I am now.) I suppose I don't have to. These pictures should have said more than I could ever have. (Pictures are worth a thousand words, right?)

I'll let you know if I ever find better pictures.


Till then.

HELLO INTERNET!!11!!

With all the free time that's been shoved into our hands every holiday, what's a better way than to completely waste it on writing a blog that nobody will read or be interested in?

Yay Internet! The wonderful world for people to huddle in a bad position for the spine, in the dark, scrolling through mindless things. And not to mention for the poor people (like me) who don't have a social life. Who needs Vitamin D anyway? Three cheers to staying not outdoors!

While in every way, reading this is probably going to waste precious moments of your life, it doesn't matter. Since I'm pretty sure you aren't doing something productive anyway. Hooray procrastination!

I have so many other blogs but there's only one that I try to keep active. That blog is for the stories that I make up and I make sure is not too bad to post up. BUT HERE! I can write whatever I want. My life (though that'll be absolutely boring), my rants, my whatever-I-feel-like-writing posts. Yay creative freedom!

So sit tight and be ready to be bombarded by things you don't necessary want to know and my opinions you don't necessarily want to hear.

I honestly have no idea how to mentally prepare you for what's to come (assuming the fact you'll come back). For I have no idea what I'll post. Hopefully, it'll not be as boring as I constantly fear such blogs like this will be.

I don't know how to end this off. If I did, this post would have been much shorter. So, I'll just

TESTING

This is just a test. This is just a test This is just a test. Testy testy test. Testing 1, two 3. Tests are so testy. Testy test. TESTY TESTS!!

This post make no sense.

Tests are testy and so is tests. Tests. Tests. Tests.

Why are you still reading this? You're weird. You should have stopped reading after the first sentence. I warned you. I told you soooo.

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I feel so smart, businessy and as though I do something useful on the internet.

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This is...


SRS BSNSS